As once again I
look out the window, one word comes to mind: resilience. For all of
us that have gone through this long, long season of everything but
the combination of warm and dry, it is a certain sense of resilience,
probably mixed with some humor, that carries us through. Somewhere on
this planet it is, indeed, spring. For more than 3 days in a row.
That takes me
back to the word resilience. I love the sound of it. How it unfolds
as I say it, and how I can feel the strength of that one word spread
through my body. So this month, I would like to explore this a little
Once again, I
used the opportunity and asked my friends and fellow coaches at the
Royal Oak Coach Café, "What is the first thing that comes to
mind when your hear the word resilience?" Here are some of the
- Not backing away in the face of adversity
- Landing on your feet
- Getting up after you fall
- Being able to work the system
- Looking for the good and the gift in a
- And, just as Winston Churchill said,
"Never, never, never give up."
What makes people resilient? Are they naturally resilient? Can it be
characteristic of resilience is the ability to keep a certain cool
while coping with setbacks. It is the ability to utilize skills and
strengths in solving problems or dealing with issues and challenges.
It doesn't mean that there is less stress or that there are fewer
difficulties in life. The difference is the way in which these
difficulties are handled. Some people do this naturally. For others, there
are ways to become more resilient.
In my research,
I came across several articles on resilience in general, how to
become more resilient, and the habits of resilient people. Here are a
few things I found helpful:
- Practice awareness; be aware of a
situation and the effect it has on you.
- Practice acceptance, not giving up but
rather trusting the emotions and "being ok" with them.
- Practice self-care; take
"me-time" daily to exercise, meditate, or any
commitment to spend time with yourself.
- Find a sense of purpose and establish
goals that fit.
- Develop a strong social network. There is
nothing like the feeling of a warm jacket of support that your
friends can give you.
- Build strong beliefs around capabilities
and abilities. Building these strengths build self-esteem that
will carry one through.
- Change perspective... is there a bigger
picture to be seen? Or is something happening for you rather
than to you? It there another side to the story?
- Breathe. Allow for a moment to disconnect.
Maybe that can give way to waiting for what is right, rather
than what you want right now. Or as D. Ernest Green said:
"Think before you speak. Words can get you into trouble
much easier than they can get you out of it."
- It is ok to not have all the answers right
now. Some things will find themselves in the time they need to
- Focus on what is right or good rather than
on what is wrong or bad...because where the attention goes, that
is where the energy flows.
What helps me is the belief that actions I take can affect the
outcome, and that I really don't have to have it all figured out
right away. I can take it to my yoga mat. I can breathe, disconnect,
and know it will find itself in the end. Sometimes I laugh it off,
and sometimes I prefer to be happy and accept not being right. A
great question a wonderful friend and fellow coach asks is,
"What is the lesson to be learned in this?" A deeper
understanding of the change I can make, can make a change. My
favorite Japanese proverb teaches me to "Fall down seven times,
stand up eight."
resilience show up in your personal life, in your work, and in your
coaching? How does it show up with your clients? Please feel free to
share your thoughts on our ICF Michigan Facebook page!
unwavering drive to be the go-to place for coaches, anyone on the
journey to becoming a coach, or anyone seeking a coach, ICF Michigan
is there with ample opportunities to connect, share, learn and grow.
See below for updates on our monthly Coach Cafés around the state,
our great TeleClasses, Core Competency Calls, and our brand new
the ICF Global Conference - North America Midwest is in Cleveland
next month and only a few spots are left! Will I see you there?
Until next time,
breathe... Warm and dry, for more than 3 days, will come.
2014 ICF Michigan President